Christophe Bourseiller, "A Freemason fair: a secret story"

It is unrealistic to live the masonic path as something that is unequivocal, definitive and without any reasonable doubt. The journey to perfectioning is hardous and sometimes dependent on the luck to be part of a community of men (we call Brethren) that live the ritual and enforce the masonic teachings in a reflexive and intimate way. That community we call Lodge. Sometimes we don't have that luck and freemasory becomes something artificial, rethorical, mechanical. This important book of Christophe Bourseiller, UN MAÇON FRANC : RECIT SECRET, Éditions Alphée, February 2010, shows his deception and talks about something that the majority of us share once in its masonic life (at least). The other part of the secret is that we have a second opportunity if we were touched (really) by the Light in the cerimony of initiation. Below the comment of the blog Froggy's Delight: 
Do not expect to discover more about the hidden sides of Freemasonry, its rites, its traditions and its orders. The story is essentially that of a man steeped in his doubts. A man naïf and curious that looks in its self. Christopher Bourseiller (writer, journalist, radio personality and television from a family of artists) here recounts his journey through "an unknown planet" from its initiation to its abandonment. A story that is perceptibly "secret" and intimate. He defends himself from the outset on the legitimate problems of "using the novel form [to] describe a parallel world”. On the back cover, the author shows himself, however, serious.

What is surprising is the first chapters. Indeed, the author immerses us in his experience, shares its sensitivity, he hide nothing of his anxieties and concerns. It is normal what he unfolds, telling us and detain along the fifteen years which he describes as "a failed initation”. A personal story told by the most passive of Freemasons. He landed in the lair of the community in 1984, doubt assailed him, but a strong motive pushes him forward. It is introduced into the temple and lives a sort of a second birth. Now he is conscious of himdself, of the transmission and the transcendence. The initiation is indeed long but within Freemasonry he thinks have found its way, at last. However, the flip side of the coin leads him to the end. Freemasonry is proving to be little more that a network of power where the question of money, social success prevails other than the search of the light. He hides nothing of his disappointment even if it still claims to belong to (the Brotherhood) in "a passive and sleepy” way.
Throughout the story we are submerged thanks to the author in the temple. We imagine with some difficulties for some or a great imagination for others what the aura of this secret society may include. However the author does not confine himself to the details. It reveals the true principles of an established order, an esoteric fraternity and follows easily his spiritual journey. We are invited to share his disgust, his bothering, his rage, his pleasure, his spark and astonishment. Finally, highlighted by an airy style of prose, easy to understand and interpret, he delivers a sometimes pessimistic view of Freemasonry.